They’re everywhere. Moaning and limping and dragging their undead-selves all around the movies, television, and any other media outlet. Zombies are officially the IT thing lately, trendier than- dare I say it- yoga or going raw. They are the automatic celebrity and don’t even have to bathe, have all their limbs, communicate legibly, or smell particularly fresh.
But, let’s face it, they could use some help in the health and body departments just as much as any other person. They were living people like us at one point, after all. That’s why I took the time to give any future zombies what they deserve: Nutritional guidelines before the Zombie Apocalypse actually hits.
This is a list of the best foods for zombies (before becoming zombies), aka, The Undead Diet:
Aloe Vera Juice: I don’t know if I’ve ever seen a zombie without gruesome cuts, wounds, or missing limbs. Although green juice is the last thing one would be caught consuming, we can make sure to prepare our body for ultimate healing beforehand by drinking at least a quarter cup of Aloe Vera Juice every day. Not only does it encourage digestion and restoration, it has also been shown to help those with anemia by stimulating bone marrow to create blood cells. Win-win for the walking dead!
Hot Chili Peppers: If there is one area where zombies obviously need help, it’s their skin. Wrinkly, dry, chapped, half fallen off; it’s just never at its best. Hot Chili Peppers offer the most Vitamin C per gram, and Vitamin C is the prime precursor for collagen production which keeps our skin supple, plump, and youthful. Additionally, the capsaicin (element that makes them hot) has been shown to slow and reduce cancerous growth, increase circulation, and increase endorphins to elevate your mood. In a nutshell, chili-pepper-it-up now if you want to be a happy zombie with envious skin!
Blueberries: Not only are blueberries full of E, A, C, and B-complex vitamins; but also copper, which acts as an anti-bacterial, and iron, which promotes immunity by raising hemoglobin and oxygen concentration in the blood. Not to mention, the anthocyanins (what makes blueberries blue) provide endless anti-oxidant benefits; from acting as an anti-inflammatory, to protecting the nervous system, to encouraging collagen production and improving eyesight. Take advantage of these tasty little nuggets while they are still on your menu!
Organic Grass-fed Beef: Now, this is a huge staple in The Undead Diet, and it’s important to make sure you get organic and grass-fed. It has the recommended 3:1 ratio of omega 6 to omega 3 fats, which provide endless benefits from internal lubrication to anti-inflammation. It is also up to four times higher in Vitamin E than commercially-raised beef. But the biggest advantages before starting your zombie afterlife come from the abundant iron and protein (particularly, lysine). Lysine plays a huge role in the formation of collagen, which is important for healthy connective tissues and bones. Organic, grass-fed beef is a prime preventative measure to keep your limbs as strong (and attached) as possible!
Carrot Juice: Zombies aren’t huge fans of the sun. Even when they do get some rays, their complexion stays as gray as a gargoyle. Not only does just one cup of carrots provide more than 400% of your daily value for vitamin A, but the beta-carotene also brightens up the skin with a healthy glow if you incorporate it into your diet regularly. By drinking carrot juice, the bioavailability of the beta-carotene is drastically increased and better absorbed in your body. So drink it up and give your pre-undead self some nice color to carry over!
Wild-Caught Salmon: Speaking of skin, salmon is one of the best sources of Omega-3 Fatty Acids, or EFAs, which has been shown to reduce UV-induced damage and wrinkles. Seeing as you’ll be spending most of your days shuffling about aimlessly in the sun, this is a definite necessity. Salmon is also one of the highest foods in zinc, which helps aid against sickness and decay. Basically, the copious benefits of salmon make it a true zombie super food.
Organic Yogurt: You won’t exactly be eating enough greens or drinking enough milk in your walking dead days to keep those bones and teeth strong. Six ounces of this fermented goodness provides over 20% of your daily value in calcium to do just that. Plus, the probiotics will keep your gut flora in check boost cellular immunity. Even better: The yogurt’s live cultures have been shown to lessen tongue-bacteria and sulfide compounds responsible for bad breath… and I think we all know zombies need as much help as possible when it comes to that.
Ginger: Stiff joints seem to come with the territory when crossing over to the other side, and one of the most versatile and delicious ways to alleviate such rigid discomfort is with spicy ginger. The gastrointestinal benefits of this pungently delicious spice are popular with teas and juicing, but did you know that ginger is also a potent anti-inflammatory that can be used to alleviate arthritic aches and pains? Mince it, grate it, boil it- simply enjoy it! Who’s to say you won’t shuffle a little more gracefully?
Liquid Chlorophyll: Although I’ve never been within close enough distance to know firsthand, word on the street is that zombies smell like, well, death. In comes Liquid Chlorophyll, a detoxifying supplement that acts as a natural deodorizer to the body. It is also a great source of magnesium and cleans your digestive tract of pesticides and toxins. While all the other walking dead mosey around wafting the scent of rotting flesh, this will keep you as fresh and clean as possible from the inside out.
There you have it, The Undead Diet. Brace yourself for the Zombie Apocalypse by adding these nutritious, functional choices into your regime and you’ll be one of the most well put-together Walkers around!
(Hey, even if the movies are just pulling everyone’s chain and it never happens, at least you can still enjoy the benefits of these foods just the same.)
